How easy can you take it in an F-150 SuperCrew?

Five years ago I bought an F-150 SuperCrew with a 5.4L V8 engine. My dad asked me to help him sell it. Instead I drove it for a day and a half and announced I was buying it.


Nobody could believe it. At the time my daily driver was a blue-on-blue Accord EX sedan with a manual transmission, and I loved it. And now I'm getting a full-size crew-cab pickup? Everyone expected me to drive the truck for a year or so, then dump it for another Honda, having learned an expensive lesson in late-model depreciation.

Nope. There it is in the garage. It's closing on 106K miles now, 68K of which are mine. It runs perfectly. In five years, in addition to normal maintenance, all I've done is replace an A/C line and the parking brake cable. It's a marvelous vehicle. I love my truck.

Well, there is one little thing. It seems I'm spending $3,000 annually on gasoline.

Now I'm not going to get into the ins and outs of why oil prices are where they are. I'm not even going to complain about it, really. I have been blessed with success sufficient to afford an $85 fill-up every ten days, and I really do thank God for the opportunity every time I do it.

However, that doesn't mean I enjoy it.

Lea and I are going to buy a third car soon. It may be a beater, or we may get something new, but it's going to get excellent gas mileage. I'll drive it to work, and she'll drive it at night. It's a car for when we're driving alone, or when we have only one child with us, dig? I'm looking forward to having it.

But it's going to be a month or two before we do it. In the meantime, as I was watching the numbers whirl dizzyingly at the gas pump yesterday, I decided I'd use this tankful to see what sort of fuel economy I could get, driving very carefully. I consistently average 15.5 mpg; how much can I improve it?

I'm not sure what I can reasonably expect. My dad was an excellent driving instructor, and I got extended lessons not only in safety but in efficiency. (And after I actually bought a few tanks of gas with "my own money," the jackrabbit starts did indeed become fewer and farther between.) The point is I'm already driving sensibly in terms of pointless acceleration, anticipating traffic signals, and the like.

So what can obsessive and meticulous attention do for me? If I can even get to 17 mpg, that would save me about $20 a month. We'll see.

Smart fortwo: Cute, can't hold conversation

The Smart is here.
Oh, is it ever adorable. Those eyes, that sidestep, and that cute little butt? Are you kidding? Chalk up 200,000 units on looks.

But Smart cars will ultimately fail in the U.S. because they have no trump. They bring the cute, but nothing else. Cute doesn't sustain.

She may have a killer body and do-me eyes, but folks, if you can't stand to talk to her the next morning, she's not going to last long.

And once the shadows part, you can't stand to talk to this car.

You can take your lady with you, but you can't take the luggage for that long weekend. You can take your son to a ball game, but his friend will have to stay home. Stay off the interstates; you have neither the top speed nor the acceleration for them. Oh, and don't worry about all of those 5,000-lb. SUVs with which you're sharing the road.

Doubtless, it's easy to park. But how many half-spaces are out there? This is the U.S. we're talking about, remember. Might make some small sense in New York or Boston, but if you're there, how badly do you want a car anyway?

What about the cute...and a low price? That would work. If we were talking about a coupe at $7995 and a convertible at $9995, Smart's American future would be assured.

What about the cute...and incredible fuel economy? That would work too. At 60 or 70 mpg, Smart's a no-brainer.

What about the cute...and an unprecedented warranty? Say 10 years, unlimited mileage, bumper to bumper? Slam-dunk.

Alas, we are talking neither inexpensive ($12K and up), nor particularly thrifty (33 mpg city/41 mpg highway). And Smart brings the worst warranty in the business to the table (2 years/24,000 miles).

That's the price and fuel economy territory of things like the Toyota Yaris, the Nissan Versa, and the Honda Fit. All of these also offer "luxuries" like back seats, luggage room, interstate performance, and a chance of surviving that head-on with the Escalade.

Smart's got cute, and in spades. But there's nothing else. Among a substantial percentage of early Smart adopters, I predict slow, seething resentment at what could have been had for the proffered $12-17K. There will be thoughts of the weekend getaways that can't be, the foursomes that can't be driven to the concert, and the new television that can't be driven home. Yet every morning, that smiling face will greet...and grate. Finally, we'll see craigslist.org ads like this:

2009 Smart fortwo, 14K miles. Good shape except for the front end, which has been beat to hell with an aluminum baseball bat. Make offer.

Brock Yates fired; lands at thetruthaboutcars.com

Brock Yates, the Hunter S. Thompson of automotive journalism, was fired from Car and Driver recently for costing too much. His first column at thetruthaboutcars.com is here.

I'm looking forward to reading his column, but I hope he reins in the swearing a bit. I don't mind it when it serves the piece—let's face it, a guy needs an F-word once in a while—but his inaugural column drips with "I can curse now, so I'm going to," and it's unbecoming. Yates is a better writer than that.